I've had this happen to me before:
1) being a designated driver,
2) on medication,
3) on an alcohol-free challenge
Okay, so #3 applies to me right now. I had to meet a friend's friend, who is interested in advertising at a bar tonight to answer some of her questions she had about advertising. (I say "had" because after the session I think she decided not to go into advertising...hahaha.) Too bad when I made these plans to meet up with her, it was before I decided to go on this cleanse.
So not only was everyone around me was drinking wine, beer or some mixed drink, I sat there sipping an iced tea, wishing it was rather a Long Island Iced Tea. In situations like this, wouldn't it be better just to pretend to be drunk?
There are a lot of benefits to pretend drunkeness:
1) you can get away with being an idiot
2) you fit in
3) you can claim you don't remember anything you did the next day
4) you can leave a terrible social situation by claiming you're so wasted, and then go home and enjoy watching TV in your Snuggie
But there are some techniques you can use so that people don't find out that you're pretending drunkeness:
- drink pop (coke is usually the best)
- slur your speech every 2 words: "What arrrreeee you talking boout?"
- add a chuckle, laugh or silent face laugh after anything someone else says (even if it's not meant to be funny like "my dog died today.")
- point at people and stick your pointing finger in their chest like you're
scolding them, but in a fun way- unbutton a button
- sweat profusely (dance up a storm or sprinkle some water if you can't produce that much body water)
- take douchebaggy pictures (see right) by stretching your face like you don't know where you are
- burp loudly
- hug and declare your love for everyone
Follow some of these simple instructions and you'll fit in with your drunken party people immediately.
Enjoy!
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