January Challenge - Day 26: Stuff Drunk People Like

Oops - forgot to post yesterday. While it's no excuse, I was out late after catching dinner and a movie with my friend Sabina. We went to see The Fighter, which is an incredible movie, I highly recommend you to go and watch it before the Oscars to see why Christian Bale will win the Oscar for his performance.

Before the movie, Sabina and I hung out at the Indigo around the corner, where we struck up a conversation with a random girl who I thought kept talking to us after we turned down a different aisle, and Sabina decided to buy the book "Stuff White People Like." It's fucking hilarious. Based off of a blog started off by McGill grad, SWPL is a humourous look at things that bring white people pleasure like Camping, TED conferences, and Ugly Sweater parties. For a full list, visit the blog here.

This blog inspired me to start a list of things drunk people like...

1) Falling down - like Deena from Jersey Shore did on last week's episode, falling down is one of the favourite activities of drunks. Whether or not someone is there to catch their fall, drunks will at one point during the evening take a tumble down a flight of stairs, trip over "loose" tile or slip on an imaginary puddle of water.

2) Talking really loud - especially at already loud night clubs. Volume control goes out the window when drunks have had one too many. One wants to say gently to their drunk friend, "dude, I'm right here. Stop shouting."

3) Laughing at everything - a simple word or action will send drunks into a gig

gling fit. While most people don't find the response of "yes" funny in any way, drunks will double over and roll around on whatever disease ridden floor they are on.

4) Destroying coasters - what have these innocent coasters ever done to you? After any night at a pub, waitresses preside over a cleanup of the nightly Coaster Genocide.

5) Ruining perfectly good photos - stupid drunken faces will serve to destroy any good group party photo. To describe it as a photo bomb does not serve it justice.

6) Unbuttoning shirts or losing a piece of clothing - we have all seen those people at the clubs with their shirts unbuttoned and untucked or the slutty ladies who have hiked up their skirts (or in some cases, have pulled their shirts down to compensate for their missing skirts). The drunks then wake up the next morning and wonder, what happened to my favourite piece of clothing?

7) Spilling - drunks have little to no coordination so they often spill their drinks which leads to point #1 - falling. Spilling does wonders for the bar tab because after one twirl on the dancefloor, the drunks are back at the bar for another drink.

8) Double fisting - #7 leads right into #8. After learning their lesson with spilling, drunks then develop some higher level thinking and ponder, "I'd have to go to the bar fewer times if I double (sometimes triple) up on drinks.

9) Swearing - while most of us curse like sailors to begin with, swearing gets turned up a notch when people are drunk. It's not common to hear a sentence like, "Man, I fucking like, fucking love you. You are my fucking bro, dude, you are like the one I go to when shit hits the fucking fan and like assholes fucking try to get up in my face."

10) Slurring - soon enough, after #2 and #9 are over, the slurring begins. Soon, sentences become murmurs, murmurs become mumbles. And then, you become incoherent, speaking more in tongues than any actual language.

10 is all I can think of right now, I might add to this list later...